Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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