Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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