Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
