this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
