I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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