hotel room ftw
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
