We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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