I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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