I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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