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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you win again, gameday.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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