she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
FUCK WHALES
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
