i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
