is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
