All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
