i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
