So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
