i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
