Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
As shirtless as possible
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
