its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
