i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
