I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no you cant smoke seaweed
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
