Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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