Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
