What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My liver just broke up with me...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
