does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
