I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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