I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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