OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
