ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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