This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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