Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
