I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
