And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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