I can text with my tongue
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
