I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
