The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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