...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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