they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize