That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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