Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
