Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
