I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize