Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
