Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
