I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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