At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
