I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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