He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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