Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
