dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
