i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
