I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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