dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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