I hate your face
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
