good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Two words: blizzard sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
